Thiar and Sharpigator
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Nami and Usopp wake up flipped. Oneshot for KittyBatman.


Thiar and Sharpigator

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for KittyBatman so enjoy! Please R&R.

Nami sat up in bed, blinking her eyes a bit as she woke.

She felt...heavy.

Looking down, she was suddenly very awake.

Having a flat, muscular, chest with abs you could bounce a quarter off of can do that to a woman.

Shrieking, she bolted from bed as soon as she realized that she wasn't alone. Zoro, Franky, Luffy, Brooke, Sanji, and Chopper were in beds or bunks all around so Nami dashed towards the bathroom and quickly shut the door.

And it was there, panting from her incredibly quick dash into the bathroom, that she first saw her reflection. Tan skin, a built body, and above all that oh so familiar nose made up her features now.

She was Usopp and that was enough for another shriek to escape her lungs and echo across the room.

* * *

Usopp felt something squishy around his chest and instantly opened his eyes. Was it some alien abducting him in his sleep? No, a moment's observation revealed, it was just a breast.

The momentary comfort he had vanished as he noticed not one but two breasts heaving with his exhales and kicked off the sheets that were around his now womanly legs. Hips as wide as Luffy's smile met his eyes and he got to his feet. Long hair hung down either side of his face and when he saw the color he knew that he wasn't Usopp anymore.

He was Nami.

Yelling as loud as he could, he dashed towards the bathroom in Nami's cabin and looked into the mirror. Brown eyes, a wide forehead, curves that had no end; yep, he was Nami alright.

The careful observation led to more yelling until a few knocks came at the door to Nami's room.

"Is everything alright?"

It was Robin and Usopp quickly wrapped himself in the discarded sheets as he hurried to answer the door.

"Yes, everything's fine Robin, nothing at all the matter with me, nope, nope, not one little thing!"

Robin looked amused for some reason as she replied.

"I see...don't forget we're still going shopping this afternoon. I hear this island has some great clothing stores."

"Ah...okay, got ya! I'm going to get dressed and then wake up the guys, alright?"

Robin nodded and left. Once she was gone, Usopp shut the door and sighed heavily as he plopped his now feminine butt onto the ground.

He was going to get through this, he just had to think up a plan. That's it, a plan. Step 1: Find his body and see who was in it. Step 2: Find a way to get back to normal. He nodded as he formulated this plan in his head. It didn't seem hard.

But then he realized he had to get dressed and in Nami's body.

The brave warrior of the sea whimpered as he looked down at his body and hoped Nami wouldn't kill him once things were back to normal.

* * *

Nami was facing her own crisis. She had to use the bathroom.

"It's okay, don't look down, just don't look down Nami," she murmured to herself.

Unfortunately she did look down, causing another shriek to escape her lips.

"Usopp be quiet! Some of us are trying to sleep here!" Zoro barked.

"Marimo, you're always sleeping," Sanji said and soon enough the sounds of a scuffle could be heard.

Nami gulped as she looked down again.

What had she done to deserve this?

* * *

It wasn't until after breakfast with the rest of the crew that Nami and Usopp managed to get alone together. Luckily both had remained silent during the meal, offering nods or smiles when needed.

Heading into Usopp's workshop, Usopp hung a do not disturb sign on the handle and shut the door, turning to look at Nami.

"Are you wearing a bra?" Nami asked, her eyes ready to glare at Usopp if he wasn't.

"Um...no?"

Nami's glare bore into the sniper and he held up his hands.

"Look I woke up naked as you today alright? So don't go glaring at me. Besides I don't know how to put a bra on."

Nami sighed and looked down at her own masculine body.

"Fine, I won't get upset. Do you have any idea why we're like this?"

"You didn't make any old women angry did you?"

"Why would that matter?" Nami asked.

"Because that's how things usually go in stories! A guy or girl pisses off an old woman who is usually a witch or faerie and then they do something weird to them! We haven't fought recently so that rules out some cosmic force switching us."

Nami groaned at how Usopp was slouching in her body and shook her head at the fount of information he was rambling on about.

"Anyway Usopp, we need to find a way to switch back. Until then you need to act like me as best you can and I'll act like you, got it?"

"I don't know if you can pull me off."

"Oh Luffy! Watch this!" Nami then did an impression of Crocodile which caused Usopp to laugh until his sides hurt.

"Alright, you got me."

"Your turn," Nami said, highly doubting Usopp's ability to act like her.

"Luffy, quit acting like an idiot! Wake up Zoro!" Usopp's face set into a death glare and Nami was a bit scared of him, to be honest. Did she really look like that when she was angry? After acting angry, Usopp fidgeted a bit and lifted his shirt. "Happiness Punch!"

Nami flew back, blood streaming from her nose at the sight, her male body overwhelmed at the naked female form in front of her.

"Wow, that was a great impression of how I would react to you if you flashed me!" Usopp said, lowering his shirt. He was then whacked hard over the head by Nami.

"Idiot! Why did you do that?"

Usopp shrugged. "Just felt like it."

Nami sighed and thanked heaven that he thought she was only pretending. Usopp's body went crazy at the sight of her own body and she wondered if Usopp was feeling the same looking at her.

"Anyway, that's enough practice. But if you touch my treasure or ruin any of my maps you will never get rid of the debt you owe me, got it?" Usopp gulped and nodded his head.

"It's probably best that you avoid the workshop and try not to damage my drawings, alright?"

Nami nodded and they left Usopp's workshop.

At least they weren't leaving for a few weeks. Luffy had declared a vacation for the crew, lasting a whole month at this summer island. Nami thought she would spend it sunbathing and trying on a bunch of clothes. Instead she was stuck as Usopp and dealing with male urges. She just hoped that she'd get back to normal before they left.

* * *

Later that evening, Nami watched as Robin took Usopp shopping and found herself entranced by the swaying of Usopp's hips.

Stop that, she inwardly scolded herself. It was just Usopp's male body that was attracted. She definitely didn't like Usopp beyond her tiny, tiny, crush she harbored for the marksman.

Right?

Any further thoughts on her body swapped nakama were cut off as Luffy suddenly wrapped an arm around her middle and dragged her towards himself.

"Hey Usopp! Let's fish!"

So Nami found herself fishing with her captain, neither saying anything as Luffy glanced at her.

"Thinking about Nami?"

The stuttering, wide eyed response would have made Usopp proud if he had been there to see it as Nami shook her head.

"N-n-no! Why would you think that?"

Luffy just laughed at Nami's denial before stopping and looking squarely at her.

"Last week you told me you really liked her. You're not making any sense Usopp but I do know one thing."

"What?"

"You and Nami have a connection."

Nami didn't respond, just stared at her captain, shocked at Usopp's attraction to her and once again surprised at how insightful Luffy could be.

However that insightful image was ruined as Luffy took a few worms and stuck them up his nose, laughing.

Nami returned her attention to the fishing pole in her hands and pondered about how she was going to use this new information when she saw Usopp again and trying to ignore the elation welling up in the back of her mind.

* * *

Usopp cringed as one of Robin's disembodied hands gave him a pair of lace panties with a matching lace bra.

"I think you'll enjoy these, Navigator-san."

"Thanks Robin," Usopp responded as calmly as he could. But as he turned to look at the full body mirror in the tiny dressing room he was in, Usopp was anything but calm.

The body reflected back at him caused his cheeks to flush and he carefully put on the panties, the fabric barely covering up his wide hips or butt. The bra was much the same and he struck a pose, feeling ridiculous but still loving the sight of Nami's naked body.

"Do you think Longnose-kun will like it?" Robin asked, causing Usopp to freak out.

"W-what do you mean by that?" he replied.

"You told me yourself that you found our marksman attractive a few weeks ago, remember?"

Robin's voice was calm as could be as she relayed this information to Usopp and it was some time before he answered her.

"Oh...yeah...ha silly me!"

"I have at least seven more for you to try on, Navigator-san."

Usopp sighed and looked once more at the naked body of the young woman he loved.

"Why me?" he whispered.

* * *

After Usopp returned with Robin to the ship, Nami quickly took him down to the workshop, locking the door behind her as she shut it.

"You looked like you enjoyed yourself," Nami said.

"I had to try on lingerie. It wasn't fun."

"You felt up my body, didn't you?"

Usopp shook his head at the accusation. "No, but it was impossible not to look."

Nami glared at him then and was about to really lay into him with some threats and debt collection when Usopp moved close and grabbed her wrist, placing it on his left breast.

"What are you-" but Usopp cut Nami off with a stern look.

"It's hard, isn't it? I know you want to squeeze and your hearts beating a mile per minute right now," he whispered.

"Usopp-" but Usopp cut her off as he continued talking.

"I've put up with a lot today. Sanji gawking at me, Zoro calling me a witch, trying on underwear, but your accusations are the worst. You're my closest friend Nami."

Nami had, by this point, squeezed a few times and was trying to ignore the arousal flooding her male body as she did so. The hurt in Usopp's eyes made Nami want to hold him and she focused on that hurt to override her body's urges.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, hugging him. "But you're not the only one to put up with things today. Luffy acting like an idiot and making me play with him, Chopper wanting more stories than I can possibly tell, and Franky asked me for some help on a door he was making. Luckily I managed to get out of there before your reputation was ruined."

Usopp chuckled, the sound reverberating along Nami's wide chest as Usopp was pressed against it thanks to their hug. Moving apart a little, Usopp looked up into Nami's eyes.

"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for some time now," Usopp said softly, his face getting closer to Nami's own.

"What?" Though Nami was sure she knew the answer and wasn't afraid of it.

"N-Nami, I-I-"

"USOPP! NAMI! Time to eat!"

And with that yell and exuberance, Luffy burst through the door of the workshop, grabbed his sniper and navigator and whisked them towards the dining room.

During dinner, Usopp shoved as much food into his mouth as he could.

"Um, Nami, don't you think you'll get fat if you stuff yourself like that?" Nami said, adding a momentary glare at Usopp for his behavior.

"Oh, SNARF, yesh, tanks for telling me Ushopp," Usopp replied, quickly swallowing.

Nami was then kicked upside the head by an enraged Sanji.

"Listen Longnose, Nami-swan can eat however and whatever she wants! And if she were big boned then there would just be that much more to love! Oh Nami-swan!"

Usopp gave Sanji a smile, causing the cook to faint in a cascade of hearts while Nami rubbed her head and ate some of her own food.

And Robin watched all of these events with a knowing smile lighting up her face.

* * *

After dinner and once Nami and Usopp were alone again she whacked him over the head.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"What? I was hungry!"

Nami sighed and before he could open his mouth to say anything else she was kissing him.

Kissing herself was never something she'd thought she'd be doing but soon enough it didn't matter as Usopp kissed back.

Eventually they broke apart, Usopp's face flushed beyond belief.

"That was...wow..."

"Yeah...wow," Nami replied.

"It's not too late to say I love you, is it?"

Nami shook her head and moved in for another kiss.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," she whispered.

Once they were done kissing a second time they grinned at one another and embraced. Nami was struck at how well her body and Usopp's fit with one another and she sighed in contentment.

Sleep eventually pulled the two apart, Nami going to the boy's cabin and Usopp going to Nami's room, both still swapped and with no clue as to how they could get back to normal. It was odd by Usopp's estimation, as true love usually restored cursed people but not so now.

Still his thoughts were on Nami kissing him and the gleam in her eyes as she reciprocated his feelings as he fell asleep.

* * *

The first thing Usopp heard the next day was snoring and a very familiar snoring at that. It was Zoro and when he saw the swordsman Usopp immediately looked down and grinned. He was back to normal!

He was about to shout for joy when a few knocks came at the doorway. Going to answer it, he found Nami on the other side, the navigator instantly hugging him as soon as she was able to. Returning the hug, Usopp grinned at her.

"Did that really happen?"

"I think so," Nami replied, before kissing him full on the lips.

A pair of blue eyes watched the new couple from the deck, Robin smiling as she glanced down at the bag of powder in her hand. It was quite expensive but it's magical properties proved useful.

"What's that?"

Looking down, Robin saw Chopper reaching for the bag in her hand. A gust of wind knocked the bag over slightly, some powder covering both the doctor and archeologist.

A moment later, while Chopper ran around shrieking about his big butt, boobs, and feminine anatomy he now had, Robin took a look at her furry form and could only say one word.

"Interesting..."


End file.
